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 | |  Microsatans!
Posted on Wednesday 20Jul05, at 11:58 pm. | | |
Oops. Lain died. Now let's talk about Meteos.
For the like... eight people who don't know, Meteos is one of the newer puzzle games for the Nintendo DS. The box advertises it as "the most frantic puzzle game in the galaxy," and it does not lie.
Imagine, if you will, your normal game of Bejeweled. Only instead of having a screen full of colorful objects to manipulate at your leisure, you only have a few of them sitting around the bottom of the screen, with more of them dropping down out of the sky almost nonstop. Your goal is to line up these blocks into rows of three (or more), and observe as they and every other block above them suddenly gets flung skyward... literally. As you progress and survive, the blocks rain down more frequently and even faster, until the planet you represent explodes in a ball of flame when the blocks eventually get too high. In essence, think of the gameplay like an unholy union of Tetris, Bejeweled and Yoshi, with a little bit of Mr. Driller thrown in for good measure.
This game falls squarely into what I call the "What the FUCK?" category: you have approximately zero time to screw around, as things get very fast-paced very quickly. You will be so busy scrambling around trying to clear blocks off your screen that you will often score chains you never even noticed, and be forced to change your plans accordingly. Items randomly fall into the screen, and you must choose between letting them go off manually or spending the second or two it takes to poke it enough times to use it yourself - nearly all of these items destroy blocks, which force you, again, to reassess your situation. Initially, even if you read the instruction manual, you will probably have no idea what in the hell is going on. This is the main gimmick of the game; this is what makes it addicting and awesome.
To screw with your head even more, the game plays host to various planets (all of which come with a different race of, as the Wal-Mart employee who rang my copy up rather accurately described, "tiny devil children"), each with its own unique backgrounds, music, block graphics, and even physics. Some planets will make blocks fall more quickly or more frequently, others will screw with the way blocks are thrown up, I've even encountered one where vertically aligning blocks will emit a sound that can only be described as the tortured scream of a small deaf child. Each block you hurl into space will also be added into a large point counter, of which you can use for the purchase of said planets, along with other additional items and extras; this will practically ensure that you play this game forever, if only to buy the screaming baby planet.
In short: Meteos is good. Go buy it. Tiny devil children command you to with their intoxicating alien dance. | |
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| | Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..........................
Posted on Thursday 21Jul05, at 12:36 pm. by an anonymous mook | |
.........................................................................................................................................dy
that's wiggy, and whyd lain die? | |
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i so want to order a large pizza with extra cheese and extra DOM!!! lol... and some more kite theartre.. e-mail me.. i would love to seee more.. i have them saved on my computer.. hahaha. i love them... besides... when is billy (cavity boy) funeral?? hahaha... and the fish.. | |
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So your not just gonna take him and stick him some kinda life pod? | |
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| | Re: Inherent Stupidity
Posted on Thursday 28Jul05, at 8:37 pm. by Comic | |
Oh, forgot to show user replies or something, gah, I'm inherently stupid. | |
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Applicable material © DG
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