One might think I was angry from this post. Sometimes comedic rage turns into loud rambling. Posted on Thursday 25Aug05, at 12:14 am.   You know what? August sucks. I think we should get rid of the entire month. Now, I have problems with ALL of summer, believe me, but I can understand these months are needed. We are not so advanced that we can fuck up the entire ecosystem and make the entire planet 20 degrees cooler...yet. Until then, I suggest we skip August entirely. Nothing happens in August. Well, nothing good anyway. Have you been watching the news? There is NOTHING going on. It's all insanely boring bullshit. When they start talking about the fucking BOY SCOUTS you know the news is in a slump. The only perk is when they pass it to the weatherman. For the millionth time they say “And now to Jim with the weather! Maybe this week will give us some colder weather.” and by my guess, some day he will crack and say “SURE! THERE'S A FUCKING COLD BLAST COMING IN FROM CANADA. IT'S GOING TO BE 200 DEGREES BELOW 0, WHICH BY MY THERMOMETER IS ABOUT THE SAME TEMPERATURE YOUR VAGINA OPERATES AT! HOW'S THAT FOR WEATHER?” In a perfect world, anyway. Other than that, the biggest thing that happens in August is all the kids go back to school. Which is great for the parents, I suppose. They get to crack open a bottle of champagne (or in lower end areas, their liquer of course I guess) and let the day wash away as they slide into a drunken stupor. To kill it all off, there is NOTHING interesting that is produced in August. New shows are held off until the fall. Not a whole lot of amazing new music comes out now. Games are gearing for the major fall rush right now. And movies...being given the ability to see movies for free is a blessing and a curse, because outside of Four Brothers (oooh, action) and The Aristocrats (a drop down foul mouthed hilarious documentary about the worst joke that ever existed) there is NOTHING worth seeing. NOTHING. What have been some of the top grossing movies lately? Fucking Dukes of Hazard? Come on, I shit better scripts than that. I totally had a great murder mystery the other day. ...oh yeah, we also posted a comic. You might have missed that, I don't know. OH MY GOD IT'S IMPOSSIBLE IT BREAKS ALL KNOWN LAWS OF SPACE TIME AND THAT OTH... Posted on Thursday 25Aug05, at 4:04 pm. by an anonymous mook OH MY GOD IT'S IMPOSSIBLE IT BREAKS ALL KNOWN LAWS OF SPACE TIME AND THAT OTHER STUFF But Mister Kite, summer is the summer of love! Well, sorta. Just imagine it's 1964. Ahhh, good old 1964. Jeff has plans for everybody, but most of them involve beating N, Gunbound, SC ladder, AND winning the lottery. All of them. Multiple times. this comment brought to you by Nall, and the wonders of haxoring Domingo. O NO HAQ SORS ps. pretty neat © Hite & Shaezer. Applicable material © DG